(This was posted on my Facebook page on June 27.)
For those of you that know me, you will know that I don’t usually get close to snakes, but on Monday I had to kill one.
I came home Monday afternoon and noticed something black hanging down from a window on our front porch. I stopped my car, got out and found a 3 foot black snake actually slithering up the screen of the window. Needless to say, I was a little freaked out. Of course, my husband was on a plane heading to California, so I was on my own with this situation.
I called my neighbor, but no answer. I called Ryan at work, and he told me he would come over after work to take care of it. I knew that if I waited for Ryan to come, I would have to sit and watch this snake to make sure it did not get away. If I came back and the snake was gone, I would be worried about it dropping on me or something. I decided I needed to kill this snake. Ryan told me to get a rake and a shovel to kill the snake. By this time, the snake is now stretched out on the window sill, and part of its tail is hanging over the edge.
I ran in the house and got the camera because I knew John would not believe that the snake was 3 feet long. I then ran to the garage for a shovel and a rake. I could find neither, so I grabbed a 3-pronged fork and a strange looking hoe with a little blade. I ran back to the porch.
Now the snake is over by the front door and crawling up the wall towards the porch light. It wrapped itself around the light in a nice coil. I take the 3-pronged fork and start poking at the snake. It is now hissing at me and shaking its tail. Through this entire ordeal, I am screaming as if the snake is killing me. If anyone were around to see this, it would be quite a show.
I finally aggravate the snake enough that it decides that it is not safe where it is. It starts to slither down the wall, and I grab it with the fork and throw it down on the porch.
It immediately gets behind a trash can that is on the porch to hide. I move the trash can and start to frantically try to “hoe” the thing to death. I must have swung that hoe 20 times and maybe hit the snake once or twice. The entire time the snake is hissing at me and trying to get away. I realize that I need to calm down and aim.
This time I somewhat calmly aim and hit the snake about 5 inches below his head. I put a dent in his body, but the back 3/4 of his body continues to slither. I continue to hit the snake with the hoe hoping it will quit moving.
I then realized that the snake has to be dead because his head is not moving, and his mouth is stuck wide open. I use the fork to pick up the snake and put it on the grass. I hit it a few more times, just to make sure. It is still slithering, but not as much.
I call Ryan to let him know that I survived, and he tells me to throw the snake in the woods. I use the fork to drag the snake over to the woods, always watching to make sure it is still dead! When I get near the woods, I swing the fork as hard as I can to send the snake far into the woods. As most would have realized, the snake did not come off of the fork until it was behind me. Luckily, it did not land on me! This time I nudge the snake until it is as close to the woods as I can make myself get. As far as I know, it is still there.
I know many people dream of living in the country, but this is EXACTLY why I don’t dream of living in the country. No, John, it is not a nightmare living here, but close!
