I think I am wrestling with God. I am trying to worship Him with praise songs, but all I want to do is FEEL what these songs sing about. I have been spending time with Him for over a year now, and I just don’t FEEL what I want to feel. I know that He is changing me, but I am so impatient!
While singing this morning, I just broke down, knelt down and cried. I don’t know why because it was a praise song, and I should have been happy. I was going for praise here 
I felt broken for all that He has done for me. I asked Him, “What was that about? I hope it just broke something apart in me!” Then I got up to praise Him for all that, and I just got angry! I was crying and yelling, “I just want to feel what this song sings about. I can sing it, I know it, but I just don’t feel it!” That sentiment has been with me for quite a while now. Lord, I am praying that You just broke some wall down or at least took out a chunk. Thanks for loving me.