I think I am wrestling with God. I am trying to worship Him with praise songs, but all I want to do is FEEL what these songs sing about. I have been spending time with Him for over a year now, and I just don’t FEEL what I want to feel. I know that He is changing me, but I am so impatient!
While singing this morning, I just broke down, knelt down and cried. I don’t know why because it was a praise song, and I should have been happy. I was going for praise here 
I felt broken for all that He has done for me. I asked Him, “What was that about? I hope it just broke something apart in me!” Then I got up to praise Him for all that, and I just got angry! I was crying and yelling, “I just want to feel what this song sings about. I can sing it, I know it, but I just don’t feel it!” That sentiment has been with me for quite a while now. Lord, I am praying that You just broke some wall down or at least took out a chunk. Thanks for loving me.
Tracy – This is Dawn Hadfield. Becky tells me she’s been in touch with you and that you are planning a cruise to Alaska. How cool! Also aware that your mom and Bill G. have been spending some time together. How about that! I’ve seen him (and Audrey) several times over the last many years. Almost seems like yesterday that we were riding horses through his pasture.
I merely breezed thorugh a few of your posts that talk along the lines of “…prayer time” etc. Dare I ask . . . . have you been born again?
An old friend
Comment by Dawn — April 29, 2010 @ 1:45 pm