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Friday night Ryan, Sara, Jay , Katherine, John and I went to the new Osaka Steak and Sushi restaurant in town to celebrate Ryan’s birthday.  I did not realize that it was such a nice place.  I thought it was just going to be another locally owned restaurant, but I was pleasantly surprised.  You can either eat in the sushi bar or at the hibachi grill.  Sara made us reservations in the hibachi grill.  Each grill has 8 seats around the grill.  The chef puts on a little show while cooking everyone’s meal right in front of you. Most of you have proabably been to a place like this.  The food was wonderful and plentiful.  We got soup and salad before our meal and any appetizers or sushi that you ordered.  John ordered sushi, and Jay ordered calamari.  Then came the meal.  We got rice and noodles with each meal, and the noodles were fantastic.  I could have just eaten a pile of those and called it a night.  You also get veggies cooked on the grill plus your entree.  It was way more than you need, but, of course, I ate it all.  We will definitely be going back there.  If you do decide to go, I strongly suggest having reservations. 

Today has been a very nice day.  The sun has been out all day, and I have been hanging out with John all day.  We went to Big R and did some shopping, and then we had lunch at Cheddar’s.  We came home, took a nap and watched the Olympics.  John, Jay and Mike are outside now shooting guns, so they are happy.  John made chili for dinner, and I am sure that we will watch the Olympics again this evening.  I am so thankful for having this time with John since I know he will be leaving for Europe next weekend.   Then I am on my own.  Yuck.

I think I am wrestling with God.  I am trying to worship Him with praise songs, but all I want to do is FEEL what these songs sing about.  I have been spending time with Him for over a year now, and I just don’t FEEL what I want to feel.  I know that He is changing me, but I am so impatient!

While singing this morning, I just broke down, knelt down and cried.  I don’t know why because it was a praise song, and I should have been happy.  I was going for praise here     I felt broken for all that He has done for me.   I asked Him, “What was that about?  I hope it just broke something apart in me!”  Then I got up to praise Him for all that, and I just got angry!  I was crying and yelling, “I just want to feel what this song sings about.  I can sing it, I know it, but I just don’t feel it!”  That sentiment has been with me for quite a while now.  Lord, I am praying that You just broke some wall down or at least took out a chunk.  Thanks for loving me.

I decided today that I would get back on Facebook.  I did this a few years ago when Brandt went to Centrifuge near Yosemite because that was how he was going to stay in touch.  I really did not like Facebook because I just cannot seem to figure out how to navigate the silly thing.  I would get a message that someone “wrote on your wall” or “poked you”, but I could never find the place to see what they wrote.  I finally deactivated my account.  I decided today that I better get back on if I wanted to know when Brandt and Angel’s twins are born.  I signed up again about 2 hours ago.  I have gotten 2 messages since then, and I was able to find one quickly.  The other one took me a while.  I have been on it since then hoping to get more familiar with it, but I am not sure I am any more familiar now than a few years ago!   I guess I will have to have Ryan or Jay show me a few tricks the next time they come over.

As many of you know, I love the snow.  I am always wishing that it would snow 20 inches here.  Well, today I am sort of pissed off at the snow because I had to stay home all day because of it.  When John left this morning, there were 2 drifts in our driveway that he did not think my car would get through.  (I knew we should have bought another SUV.)  He asked me to stay home, so I did.  I guess it really was the wind that caused the drifts, so I should be pissed off at the wind.  The next time it snows, I am going with John to work.  At least I won’t be stuck at home.  Enjoy the snow!

I have just been wondering if anyone but pharmaceutical websites read my posts.  Just wondering.

I am so excited!  I finally get to go to Europe with John.  James and Noella are getting married on November 14, so I get to go to the wedding.  John will be over there working for a week, and then I will fly in on November 7.  We will spend the week sightseeing, and then go to the wedding on Saturday.  We will then head home on Sunday.  We will defiinitely go to Paris, but I don’t know if we will try to squeeze anything else in.  I am happy to see the sights in England and Paris!  I will be flying over by myself, but I don’t think that will be too bad.  I am pretty good at sleeping on airplanes, so I am hoping to sleep most of the trip.  John will be at Heathrow to meet me, so I won’t have to navigate anywhere by myself.  Thanks James for asking Noella to marry you!  Thanks John for taking me!  I love you.

Thursday morning was the beginning of a wild day for me.  I got up and got ready for the day, came into the kitchen and took my vitamins and 2 Alieve and 3 ibuprofen.  I had some aches in my joints, and I always take 2 Alieve for that.  I had a headache that I had had since Sunday, and I usually take 3 ibuprofen for that.  I did not think there would be a problem with taking the 2 together because I thought I had done it before.  Evidently I had not.  I fixed my breakfast and sat down at the bar to spend my hour with God.  About 15 minutes into it, my palms started itching like crazy, and I started to feel weird.  I really cannot explain how I felt other than weird.  Then my legs started itching, and I stood up to scratch the backs of my legs.  The next thing I knew I was laying on the kitchen floor, and my hip hurt.  I remember thinking to myself, “You can’t lie on the kitchen floor!”  as if I had laid down there for some reason.  I quickly got up and sat back down at the bar.  Then I really started to feel strange, so I went into the sitting room to sit down.  After I sat down, I guess my mind cleared a little because  I realized that there is no reason that I would ever lie down on the kitchen floor on purpose.  I then got up and called John.  He was already at LRS, so it took him a half hour to get home.  After calling John, my entire body was itching so badly.  I remember taking off my pants, so I could scratch the backs of my legs better.  I was dizzy and just felt awful.  At some point I must have walked into the bedroom because I found myself on the bed, and I was very cold.  I also got cramps that felt like menstrual cramps.  When John got home, he called the doctor, and they told him to take me to the Emergency Room.  I got up to go, but I said, “I can’t go.  I’m too cold.”  Needles to say, John got me up, and we headed to the ER.  As we drove, I warmed up a bit, and the itching got less.  By the time we got to the ER (a 20 minute drive), my cramps were gone.  John dropped me off at the door, and all I could think of was the comedy routine that Brian Regan does about going to the ER.  They got me right into a room and immediately hooked me up for an EKG and drew blood.  They hooked me up to the monitor thing too.  I was still very cold, and they brought me 2 of those wonderful heated blankets.  Nice!  After about an hour, I was not cold anymore, and the itching was completely gone.  The doctor came in and told me that they wanted to do another EKG and blood work in 4 hours, and after that they wanted to do a treadmill stress test.  He said I would be there for the day.  He said had I not passed out, they would probably have sent me on home, but they wanted to make sure nothing serious was wrong.  He did not say that it could be caused by the meds, but he did say that I should not take those 2 together.  We were all sure that this episode was caused by the combination of the meds because both Ryan and Jay had looked online as soon as John called them.  Anyway, I was there for the day, so I told John to go on to work.  There was no reason for him to hang out there all day when I was fine.  He was reluctant to go, but I finally talked him into it.  After he left, they came and got me and did a chest x-ray, and then back to the room.  Since I had not done my prayer time, I figured this was the perfect time.  I spent the next 2 hours lying in that bed resting and talking to God.  Around noon, Ryan, Jay and Katherine came by to see me.  They brought me McDonalds, but right before they got there the nurse for the stress test came in and told me that I could not eat or drink anything until after the test!  I told her she was mean.  Ryan was so nice.  He told me the drink was not Diet, so I would not want it.  Thanks Ryan.  And Jay ate my double cheeseburger later I think.  While they were there, Ki came in too.  She had found out from Shug that I was at the ER and that John had gone on to work.  She did not want me to be there all day by myself.  I was really touched by her thinking of me.  Thanks Ki.  The boys and Ki stayed for an hour or so.  Katherine stayed with me until about 2:30.  I was so glad that she did because the doctor came in to tell me that the treadmill stress test might not get done until 6:00 or 7:00.  He told me that I would maybe have a better chance to get it done quicker if I did the stress test where they stimulate your heart with medication instead of exercise.  That did not sound too good to me because ingesting medicine was the reason I was there.  Katherine helped me to make the decision to wait for the treadmill test.  After Kat left, I said a little prayer that it would not be too late before they took me for the test, and then I tried to take a little nap.  Within 45 minutes, they came to get me for the treadmill stress test!  Thank You Lord for that.  The test was not much fun, but I did it.  They told me that they needed to get my heart rate to 176 by walking on the treadmill.  Every 3 minutes the treadmill increased in speed and incline.  It took 13 minutes to do it, and I was getting tired.  When they reached the target, I was to leap off the treadmill, lie down on the table so they could take ultrasound pictures of my heart while it was at the target of 142.  The nurse had told me that they had 30 seconds to get the pictures.  If they did not get what they needed, they would have to do it again, but this time they would use the medicine to stimulate the heart.  I did not want that.  They were able to get what they needed, so I did not have to do it again.  After my heart slowed down again, they took me back to my room.  I was feeling a little lonely for John by now, but, since it was only 4:30, I did not think he would have even left work yet.  In a minute or two, John walked in the room!  I was so glad to see him.  A few minutes later, Kat came in.  She was on her way home from work and wanted to check on me.  She stayed until the doctor came in to tell us that all the tests had come back normal and I could go home.  Yippee!  I immediately ripped off all the leads for the heart monitor and waited for the nurse with the discharge papers.  Evidently, I should not have taken off those leads because they wanted a last reading.  Too bad.  I was sick of having those things on me all day.  Finally, they discharged me, and we were in the McDonalds drive up at 6:00.  I was hungry, and I NEEDED a Diet Coke! 

Sunday evening, as I was thanking God again for getting me through all this, I realized how completely calm I had been through all of it.  If you know me at all, you know that I am not a calm person when it comes to health issues, and I certainly don’t want to be alone when going through them.  I was never afraid or worried through all of this.  I felt completely calm.  The fact that I told John to go to work while I was in the ER is almost a miracle.  For the last 10 months I have been trying to spend an hour a day with God.  Most of the time I cannot even stay focused for more than a few minutes at a time.  I truly believed that I was pretty much failing at this, but God has definitely been working on me.  There is no other way to explain how I could have been so unlike myself in this situation other than God.  Thank You Lord for that encouragement and for letting me recognize it. 

Merry Christmas everybody!  The Christmas season is in full swing at our house.  The tree is up, and there are even 2 presents under it!  I am making good progress with my shopping, but I never seem to get finished.  John and I are going tomorrow afternoon, so I hope to get lots done.  My goal is to be completely ready by next Saturday.  I want to be able to relax and enjoy the week of Christmas.  We will see if that happens

It has been a while since I have posted, so I will catch up on things.  Both Elijah and I have had our birthdays.  Mine on November 5, and Elijah’s on November 7.  John was in Europe that week, so I missed him.  Mom came up on my birthday, and we spent the day together.  That evening we went to the Cracker Barrel with all the kids, and it was wonderful!  Thanks Mom, Ryan, Sara, Elijah, Josiah, Lily, Jay and Katherine for spending my birthday with me.

Elijah had his birthday at Kicks.  Four of his friends came and played video games with him, and three of them spent the night.  He had a great time.  Ryan and Sara were very brave having 5 boys over night.  Josiah spent the night with me and Grandma Nell, so at least they did not have to worry about him. 

Then next morning, Ryan cut his thumb while working on his roof.  It was pretty deep, so I had to take him to the ER.  The doctor thought he cut the tendone in half, so she stitched him up and sent him to the hand doctor the next day.  Luckily, he can move his thumb fairly easily, so the hand doctor did not open it up to do anything.  He has to wear a splint for 3 weeks, but it has not stopped him from going bow hunting.  He actually went that afternoon.  Luckily, it was his left hand, so it is not the hand he pulls the bow with.

This weekend is shotgun deer season, so the boys are all a twitter.  Zeke came over this morning, and they all are practicing at our house this afternoon.  They will head out quite early in the morning to be in their stands before sun-up.  Hopefully, they will all have a succesful season this year.  It is so wonderful to see John, Ryan, Jay and Zeke enjoying something so much together.   Male bonding!